Thursday, July 3, 2008

Rainbow Vortex

I found the end of a rainbow. I have seen heaven and swam in God's rivers of imagination. I have been hit by lightening through the very keypad I type this post on. I have seen a star fall from the sky and hit the Earth. I have fallen in love with wonderful women four times in my life. I have seen my sons born. I have lived to know my grandchildren. I have no price. You can not buy pieces of my soul for all the riches in this world and I fell pity for the poor fools that sell pieces of their souls.

July 25th, 2008 I will be 50 years old. I am glad to put that final nail in the coffin of my youth.
Youth culture is a fool's glory and I never wanted any part of it. Youth culture is junk food for the soul. Being cool is fool's gold and the sooner 'cool' dies the better off the world will be. I look forward to the changes to come in the future and to make my mark on it in some small way if God would be so kind to let me.

I thank God he has given me such wonderful parents. My sins swirl around me in a vortex and the color of my good deeds are clouded by those evil acts. With parents as good as mine there should have been no bad deeds. I move forward now into the twilight of my life. I must do as many good deeds as time allows. Perhaps I will know paradise a second time.


rosalie said...

it occurs to me that it's your believe that allowed to let you creep out of your 'little' (more or less..) depression and i'm very glad about it.

do you believe in the one and only god? for me there exists some kind of 'energy', yes, indeed - but i have given it up to try to give it a name. and if i would have to then i'd call it 'the magic of life' or something like that (i also don't like the term 'energy' because this word is so strongly connected with esotheric and it leads somebody's thoughts directly in a specific direction- one thing i don't like about words).

but don't forget that it's not all about the deeds that make us to know the paradise. every moment can contain a piece, a part of the or a paradise within itself.

don't you think?

Robert A Vollrath said...

To Rosalie

I have no answers. I believe in imagination. I believe in nothing.
I believe in paradox.

My beliefs make me depressed because they are complex and painful to think about. I don't believe in telling anyone what to believe in. God is just a word to me and I'm not a word worshiper. Words are tools I use and not an object I worship.

I do find magic in life but I don't
have any proof for the things I believe so I seldom share those thoughts. I believe there is some form of universal mind that we are part of but again I have no proof.

You might be right about the deeds as I have done bad things that turned out good and good things that have turned out bad.

rosalie said...

i go for plunging into your thoughts and stories and nearly everything on your blog.
hope you didn't feel misunderstood cause it's really not the way like that- not in the least ;)

Robert A Vollrath said...

I don't feel misunderstood because I haven't tried to make anyone understand me. This blog is an experiment in writing for the moment and I'll try to explain how I view life, art and everything.