When I was a little boy of four or five I thought everyone saw reality as I did. I didn't know I was different. I didn't know other people didn't see colors around every living thing. I didn't know that other people couldn't hear the whispers of thoughts.
When I slept at night I would dream of future and past lives and sometimes see myself living in different bodies in this time line. I got the spirit world and this world confused. I always believed in reincarnation and didn't understand when an adult would say; "we only have one life to live."
When I got older I just thought I was born insane. I forced myself not to see the colors around every living thing. I closed my mind to the whispers of thoughts. My world was less magical but I knew I must live in the world that others believed in if I was going to survive. I could still see things other people couldn't see. I can see things a little faster than most people. I can hear things very far alway and I can see colors most people can't.
I don't expect anyone to believe any of this but I have kept these secrets for so long now that I just wanted to write this here. This is my truth. I've had visions all my life and many of them very dark. So I must edit reality for I must live in the world other people believe in to survive.
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing these feelings Robert. It must be very difficult as a child to understand the honour you have to be able to link with the spirit world with such ease. Many of us as grown ups work so hard to achieve this and learn so much about life by doing so.
I tried so hard to block out seeing colors around living things when I learned no one else I knew saw the same thing. I felt I had to tell about it here because its part of some of my early memories and I couldn't tell some stories in a honest way.
The Animal Hospital Truck is an example of my confusion between this world, the spirit world and what I saw on TV as a child.
I thought death was always a choice. No matter how bad you were hurt the doctors could put you back together and your soul could be reattached in a Mad Scientist method. I thought the church didn't approve so no one talked about it.
In the story Uncle Bully and the Fishes, I thought I was going to die but I really wasn't that upset about it as I knew I would be given a new life.
After I started opening up about my link to the spirit world on this blog I realized this link needed to be part of my novel and I began to write it in to my story.
Lottery Girl reinforced the idea with her comment.
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