Monday, September 15, 2008

Mugger Bully

A young woman walked towards me.

"My boyfriend says that you are to give me some money so we can go to a movie or he'll shoot you."

I was in Westport an old neighborhood of Kansas City Missouri.

"I don't see a gun. Where is his gun?"

I've never been scare of any man that threatens by sending his wife or girlfriend over to me.

"You better believe he has a gun! He has it in the pocket of his leather jacket."

"Tell him I'll give you the money if he shows me the gun."

She walked back to her boyfriend and told him what I said. He looked angry and sent his girlfriend back over to me.

"He says he's going to shot you through the pocket of his leather jacket if you don't give us money to go to the movies now!"

"I don't think so. It's his hand in the pocket of his leather jacket. Now you two need to find someone else to mug because I'm going to go buy an art book at that bookstore."

I began walking to the bookstore and those two Westport muggers followed me.

I keep looking around for a policeman to flag down but couldn't see any. The couple was walking 30 feet behind me. I walked into the bookstore and they stopped following me. I could see the couple waiting for me just a few steps from the doorway through the big bookstore windows.

The art book I was looking for was sold out. The only two other costumers in the bookstore left through the front door running the mugger gantlet without a reaction from the couple. They were waiting for me. I must have hurt their mugger pride. I went to the check out counter.

"I need you to call the call the police for me. That couple just outside your front door is threatening to kill me if I don't give them money."

"I don't want to get involved. You need to leave my store."

"If you have a back door I'll be glad to leave your store."

"I don't have a backdoor, you'll need to go out the front door."

"I can't go out the front door or I'll get mugged. Besides you're lying as I know you have a backdoor."

With that the clerk ran into the backroom. He yelled at me from the backroom.

"Leave my store now or I'll call the police!"

I yelled back.

"Fine with me, I want you to call the police!"

The bookstore was empty except for me. A couple of would be muggers out front and a cowardly bookstore clerk in the backroom. I watched the boyfriend mugger through the front window give evil stares to anyone approaching the bookstore. It was comical how you could see people change their minds about going into the bookstore by body language and the expressions on their faces.

I yelled back to the store clerk.

"Hey Mr. Bookstore Owner how about closing your eyes and letting me run out your backdoor?"

"I've got a gun and I'll shot you if you come back here!"

"Great, everyone has a gun today but me."

All I wanted to do was buy a $20.00 art book, how did I become part of a three way book store stand off. That thought gave me an Idea. All of us in this little reality play were cowards at heart.
I could use that and the ego of Mr. Boyfriend Bully.

"I'm going to try something Mr. Bookstore Owner. If I die I'm going to haunt this bookstore and if I live I'm going to tell everyone what a coward you are!"

I walked over to the big window by the front door and tapped on it. Mr. and Mrs. Mugger turned and looked at me.

"I love books! I can stay in here all day. You two are going to miss the early show."

I turned and walked away like I wasn't scared at all. I just started shopping for books. I saw the mean stare from Mr. Mugger out of the corner of my eye. Mrs. Mugger was pulling on his arm begging him not to come into the store and beat me up. After a few minutes of this she won and the couple turned and walked away. I left the bookstore in stealth mode. The front door didn't have a bell on it and I opened and closed it as quiet as I could. I wanted Mr. Bookstore Owner to stay in the backroom for as long as possible.

I went directly to were my car was parked. I had somehow lost my parking ticket and the parking attendant told me that would cost me twenty dollars.

"See if you can read my license plate!" I said to the parking attendant as I speed off without paying. I looked in my rear view mirror as I speed out of Westport and thought to myself;

"Still no policemen to be found."

Note; This all happened before the age of cell phones.

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