Monday, September 15, 2008

Movie Bully

"Hey you, you move to the front of the theater! I don't like you little whip business men!"

The five punks in the back row began to violently kick the back of the row seats ten seats above us.

I sat with my family and watched as people moved to the front of the movie theater to get away from the gang of five.

"That's right move to the front where you belong!" Said one of the five.

I thought to myself; "Don't say anything, just let it go."

"Hey you people three rows ahead of me. I need you to move too. You smell bad."

The other four laughed at there gang leaders comment.

"They don't have to move!"

The gang of five was shocked and so was I. It was my voice but it was like someone else had spoke the words. The leader of gang looked down on me from the high ground and spoke.

"There is five of us but only one of you. Are you sure you want to mouth off to us?"

"There only needs to be one of me."

Again it was as if someone else spoke through me but it was my voice.

I turned around and watched the movie that had been playing for five minutes. I was going to die so I could see Gremlin's 2 in peace and quiet. I was the greatest of all fools. My sons and their mother with a friend were going to see me beaten to a bloody pulp after the movie ends. I could leave before the movie ends but that would be a sign of weakness and might invite the attack.
I had to let this play out and pretend to be brave.

The movie ended and the gang of five almost ran out of the movie theater. I chuckled at this.

The young punks must have seen too many Kung Fu movies and thought a lone fighter could take five on at once.

When I got outside I couldn't remember where my car was parked. With my family and a friend in tow I began to look for my car. Then I saw the gang of five huddled together in a group of old cars. With my exceptional hearing I could just make out their conversation 500 feet away.

"There he is. Don't let him get you alone or he'll kill you. That's the way they always do it."

I couldn't help it. I started laughing as loud as I ever laughed. This scared the gang of five even more. Which made me laugh even louder. Finally I found my car and drove off.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I honked my horn and waved at the gang of five.

They didn't wave back.

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