The First Fall

"You won't have time to give her the shot! She delivers quick after her water breaks!"

"Shut up! Your just the father and I'm a doctor..."

My second son is born. His head misses the needle of the syringe held in the doctor's hand by less than a inch. My newborn son falls towards the floor. The so called doctor drops the syringe and catches my son three inches from the floor.

As my son fell from his mother I see that he is a boy. I am standing 15 feet away from this bungee jump delivery. I have been arguing for hours with people that had no business calling themselves doctors.

Seven hours earlier I'm in the delivery room.

Next to the birthing room was the delivery room (Babies weren't delivered in the delivery room).
A doctor walks in smoking a pipe and my very pregnant wife of a few hours into the past of my second son's birth turns green.

"Get out!"

"Do you know who I am?"

"I don't care who you are or what your title is! Get out of this room with that pipe!"

"I'll be back, this is my hospital!"

"I'm your boss. You work for me. I'm firing you! Find me a doctor that isn't a idiot with a smoking pipe!"

The doctor with a smoking pipe didn't come back but he convinced 40 doctors that my unborn son was dying and I was endangering the child by my attitude towards him.

This was of course a lie as he never examined my wife and I refused to let him or any doctor do an emergency C-section on my wife with no proof she needed one.

I was in a war of words and threats to save the life of my child. I believe the Smoking Pipe Doctor would kill my child out of spite because I dared insulted him.

"If you don't calm down sir, I'll call the police and have you removed from the hospital."

"I have done nothing wrong today. How many laws have you broken in the last few hours."

Doctor after doctor tried to intimidate with lies and I threw the truth back in their faces.

Finally one good doctor came and induced labor. He was a enemy of the smoking pipe doctor and was called from vacation to handle the mess the fool had made.

The good doctor had left to return to his vacation and a group of fools delivered my son.

The student doctor that caught my son inches from the floor began to brag about delivering his first baby and then a few minutes later began to make fun of my wife and I for being poor.

He complained about how little money he was going to make off my wife and I with our low income plan. I finally lost my temper and asked the student doctor to step outside.

"Are you threatening me?"

"It's more like a promise to show you how I can put the tip of your nose on your right cheek bone. All day long my wife and I have been insulted and I believe you would be wise not to say another word to either one of us."

Somehow my son survived that birthday. I remember the student doctor walking away without saying another word. Years later the hospital closed and the building was demolished.

My youngest son Micheal Sterling Vollrath turned 26 the day I began to write this post.

Weekend Time Traveler

Friday I'm in the 1940's watching a gumshoe detective dance with a woman in red in the headlights of a 1941 fully tricked out Chevy car.

Saturday I'm in the old west in front of a Saloon watching a gun fight play out between two men over a woman.

Sunday I watch a tribe of cave men as two of them fight over a mate in prehistoric times.

The truth is I'm not time traveling at all. I'm working on two different productions of short movies.

It was fun and I learned from other directors but now I must focus on my own productions as I travel into my own future.

Laughing Heaven

I had a vision and then another. My imagination is evolving towards the positive and the Red Dragon that was my anger died.

The second vision was a life without anger. A vision of peace within myself.

In the last few weeks, I've been called the greatest of all losers by a young man behind my back and slandered to my face by a friend of the richest woman of the area I live in.

I am still slandered by the rich and powerful at their dinner parties and that no longer has any effect on me. I have went from anger to pity for such silly word of mouth games and now don't even find humor in such stupidity.

To those who slander me;
Your millions and billions of dollars are worthless imaginary constructions that have no value in the afterlife. Perhaps you see me as the poor and uneducated man that has no right to speak against your grand plans of wealth and control. I am no better than you but you are no better than me. All life is equal in the universe and has value beyond any false wealth or trivia.

The same young man called the woman I love the meanest name that can be cast down upon the female ego. I almost became angry and then somehow turned from this anger and walked the path of forgiveness.

In this same time period of three weeks, my 80 year old mother had an accident and lost a quarter of her teeth destroying her beautiful smile. My mother's sister in an act of cruelty tricked my mother into going to the farm office to sign papers that didn't need signing so her broken smile would be seen in public. My mother and aunt own a farm together and over the years since my grandmother died I've seen this cruelty from both my aunt and uncle many times.

I didn't get angry at my aunt but only felt the deepest of pity for her.

At 51 years of age I'm finally growing up. How heaven must laugh at the folly that is life.

I've went down the wrong path in life too many times. I've done the negative thing because I felt the positive way was too hard or won't be as popular. I was lying to myself.

I must tell positive stories that will inspire people and not mock people with different belief systems. As I edit my last movie I know it was a wrong turn but I will finish it and enter it in film festivals as I owe it to the actors that worked on the movie.

I will do a collection of short movies about Heaven. It will be a path towards the positive.

New Directions

I've decided to go a new direction in my life. I'm going to reach for the big dreams with all the energy I can find within myself but I will no longer try to do everything myself.

I'm giving up on fine art and museum exhibits. I will use past works in both areas to tell stories in many ways.

I've decided to give up on trying to have a personal relationship with a woman until I start making a steady income.

My weak business skills must become stronger and I am going to work towards learning as much as I can in the coming months.

Rose Pearl will be my last fine art painting. I will finish my graphic novel this month.

I am writing a first draft of a feature length script. I will have that first draft finished next month.

Finally I will push myself as hard as I can to finish a first draft of my novel Grandfather Green Tie and the Invisible Picnic. I took a wrong turn in this novel and it is taking some time to undo the damage my own ego did to this book.

Firewire 800

I feel like my blog is dying. I have secrets I can't write about and I'm too tired to write anything most of the time. I haven't been able to load pictures or video with my new computer.

I'm hitting a wall of technology I haven't dealt with before. Most of all I need a Firewire 800 so I can load my new movie to edit it.

Secrets, so many beautiful secrets. I can't tell you no matter how much I want too.

I love people and life more than anything as I finally come out of my shell.

A Fawn and a Farewell

I'm driving into Kansas City on 71 highway toward a long overdo return to movie making.
I look to my left and see a dead doe by the side of road with a young fawn trying to wake the dead deer mother with a nose. The fawn is fragile and perfect with the white spots of youth. My heart goes out to this babe by the side of the opposite direction I'm going. I could save this bit of nature only inches away from death.

Guilt swells in me as I don't turn off the off ramp at the next overpass. I have a movie to make and promises to keep.

More to come......This story takes place on August 2nd.

Sorry I'll be a while getting back to this. I'm on a short sleep vacation.

I got to the location still thinking about the fawn. As I waited to be let into the American Ice Co. building (an old ice storage building turned into offices and apartments) I saw a crippled cat that I later learned was called Tripod. The cat had a broken third leg but was well feed so he or she didn't need my help. If Bambi hadn't been my favorite movie as a child maybe I could think about the movie instead of that helpless fawn.

More to come.....

I was there early and in about a half hour David Winger showed up to let me in. David Winger is the President of the IFC (Independent Filmmakers Coalition of Kansas City) He rents a light kit to me as well as stingers (Sandbags to hold the lights down) and extension cords. He gives me access to an upstairs office that is my set as well as a way in and out of the building. Before he leaves he leans me a mic, just in case my DP forgets his.

More to come.....

Antoine calls me on my cell phone and ask if the anyone has shown up yet. I said no and told him I believed everyone would be on set soon. Everyone did show up and all went better than planed. The kissing scene between Antoine and Amanda had the passion I had hoped for.

As the production ended I said a farewell to Amanda as she was moving to Florida in two days.

Seldom do you get the cast you saw in your head when you wrote the script and a crew of two that go above and beyond the small pay they were given.

Note I made a mistake in this post as Stingers are extension cords;)

Stress

Can't sleep. Worried I don't remember how to direct a narrative movie. Keep thinking of things I need to cut out of the script. Need sleep.