Friday, May 29, 2009

Taste of Candy

This is the very end of the most extreme movie I ever made.

In fact this is about all I can show you of this original edit of the movie.

I always try to play by Blogger's rules and I found most of the movie couldn't be shown on this site.

I was going to show you my cameo in the movie but I haven't got to that footage yet as I work on a new edit of the movie for a underground film festival.

The movie is about child abuse and how it breeds murder in our world.

There are no children in this movie but the stuff animals in the back seat echo a lost childhood.

My good friend Maia played the part of Candy and took part in the writing as the voice of reason.
I directed this movie and hope to expand it into a feature someday.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Kentucky Fried Sound

I was at the counter of a KFC. I was about to order my meal when the voice came into my head.
Someone was yelling at the clerk at the counter, was it me?

"Sir, can I take your order?"

"Yes, of course. I'll have the buffet."

"That will be $6.95 sir."

I payed her and took my cup, plate and tray. Three seconds later a man was yelling at her.
It was the voice in my head.

Next Post is a clip from my movie Violent Candy.

The Wizard Club

The Wizard Club is fading from my memory. It wasn't a Harry Potter fan club, even if it was the place I first heard about the fictional boy wizard. No one ever called it the Wizard Club at the meetings but outside the meetings it was the name I called the group. My place in the group was that of the skeptic.

I was dating Sally, oh that's not her real name but I will call her that to protect her from the bigotry of the so called Bible Belt. I was in love with Sally and if the truth be known I never loved a woman more than the woman I call Sally in this story. Sally was a pagan and a neo-spiritualist and I was a wandering soul in search of a truth.

I found no truth in the Wizard Club but it was part of my journey in search of the truth. The people in that group wanted to use magic for good but I only found a pool of false knowledge where imagination should have been. I found no imagination worshipers like myself and worst I found pity politics in the group.

My memories are almost gone of the people of that group. The meetings were $10.00 for each gathering but I didn't feel that was a bad price for the mansion where the Wizard Club meet was truly a private museum. The home of the Professor that studied primitive religions it was full of objects that were part of the fantasy of real world magic.

I have no cleaver story to tell you here, just a fading memory of a group of people with shallow imaginations that wanted to be real wizards.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Frankenstein Effect

I was at the lowest point in my life. All the years of mind numbing never ending pain had come to this. All the Hell Dreams and Utopian Nightmares. All the times I fell down and couldn't get back up for long periods of time. I told my family I went into the Light and they put me in a mental ward.

The nurse came and gave me a shot to knock me out. My story was so crazy, I had to be crazy.

"It won't work."

"I assure you Mr. Vollrath it will work. You will fall asleep very soon."

"You're wrong, you'll see. Drugs don't work on me like they do other people. Not since the Light."

As she walked away I felt the effect of the drug and my imagination went to war.

I was a child of the Space Age but I was bathed in the Light of the One Soul. My waking dreams were more powerful than any drug. I simply turned up the volume on my soul and the effects of the drug went away.

An hour later another nurse came by my room.

"Did you get your shot?"

"Of course but it didn't work at all. Like I told the other nurse I went into the Light."

"Don't lie to me. If someone gave you a shot you would be asleep by now."

"You would think that but my mind works different than most... OUCH!"

"There, you'll be asleep in no time at all."

The second nurse left the room as I looked down at my arm. She had given me the second shot almost in the same spot as I got the first. What an interesting science experiment this was.


I can get out of this mental ward with half my brain tied behind my back.


This isn't as funny as it was a few seconds ago. Come on imagination don't fail me now.

I found some change hidden in my room that I had palmed when I was checked in.
This is going to be tricky. I stood up and my null side followed. I used my left leg as a crutch as I made my way to the bathroom mirror. Oh, you are pretty.

I was a drooling droopy eyed fool. Has I walked out of my room dragging my left side with me I thought I must look like a Universal Studios movie monster.

I made it to the pay phone and called my wife. Talking when you can't feel half of your mouth isn't easy.

"JAAckkkie I beennn doubbleed dooseed wiithh doope. Cooomee gett meee!"

I made my way back to my room. I had asked the One Soul to get me out in 8 hours or less but I didn't realizes how hard I was going to work to make it happen. Prayers only work if you make them work.

The first nurse came back and was shocked to see me still awake.

"Twwo shotts."

I held up two fingers with my right hand.

"Wannt to trry for threee?"

"Oh, my God!"

"Go fiinnnd thaat otherr nuuurse andd telll her I'mm not lyiiing."

The nurse ran out of the room.

I heard them talking just outside my room.

"My God we gave him enough drugs to knock out an elephant!"

"We'll be lucky if he doesn't die!"

As they walked in the room I began to bang my left hand on the bed railing with my right hand.

"IIII don'tt feeel a thiiinng!"

The two woman looked at me in horror. They took my blood pressure and pulse being careful not to tell me what it was. I pretended to go to sleep telling myself I wouldn't go to sleep and I would wake up as soon as I heard my wife's voice if I did.

I fell into a hell dream and the drugs were a Storm of Death and I became a Red Dragon.
My burning breath held the vortex of death away from my twisting serpent body.
Death fell upon me and captured me and in my effort to escape I turned into a thousand tiny blue jellyfish.

All the little bits of my life force sank deep into the dark void of death. My imagination weaken an I found pity for myself as I was going to die in a mental ward. Each blue bit of me began to blink out in the blackness of death. I was going to die. I would never see my sons grow into men.
I was going to die. I would never know my grand children. I was going to die a complete failure in a mental ward. I was down to one blue jellyfish. It's small light began to flicker.

I heard my wife's voice and that little jellyfish exploded into a Giant Blue Dragon and ate death whole.

I sat up in bed and looked at my wife, nurse one and nurse two, all three standing in my room before me.

"They gave me enough drugs to knock out an elephant!"

My speech was no longer slurred. Feeling was coming back to my left side.

"They're lucky they didn't kill me!"

Nurse One looked at my wife;

"We advise you to keep him here."

"I can't leave him here. You might have killed him."

My wife signed me out with 40 minutes left on my eight hour deadline.

No longer my wife, I will always care for Jackie Goss for signing me out of a nightmare when her name was Jackie Vollrath.

I Love Amanda

Amanda is my Daughter in Law and a wonderful person. I believe she is the best possible woman my son Micheal could have married. She has given me a wonderful grandchild.

The above picture is of Amanda, Cordelia and Micheal. Soon after this picture was taken Amanda had her hair cut short and donated the cuttings to make a wig for a child with cancer.

Friday, May 1, 2009

invisible jet

What is reality? I haven't got a clue. I saw a jet bomber blink out of reality or did it? I edit reality sometimes when I'm scared or does someone or something edit it for me?

Maybe I just have a head full of bad wiring? I hate being this rational.

Was it a hallucination or military secret that I saw? I don't know but I believe it was a military secret. Why do I believe the U.S. Air Force has Star Trek technology in the here and now?

I was at a Air Show at Whitman Air Force Base and I was tempting a heat stroke. I can't regulate my body temperature like a normal person. I guess I should say I can't tell if I'm hot or cold for long periods of time. Then when I am hot or cold it hits me all at once. I decided to leave as they announced the B-2 bomber fly over. I needed to get out of the sun and I could leave without fighting traffic.

The temporary parking lot was in a field at the end of the main runway. As I walked alone into the parking lot when the B2 bomber roared into view at the other end of the parking lot.
The B2 dived down to a few feet above the ground and appeared to be heading for a crash into a small hill before the runway.

I braced myself for the crash. I was out in the open and I expected to be hit my flying cunks of plane from the explosion. The Bomber disappeared from sight and so did the sound of the engines. I could see a distortion of where the B2 should be and then there it was again. Now low over the runway at the beginning of it's fly over with the full force of sound from it's engines.

I don't even watch the B2 fly down the runway. I have a flashback to the airshow the year before. I think this was the first time I had a flashback vision.

The year before I'm standing by the runway on a cooler day. I look down at the end of the runway and see the B2 appear out of blue sky in the distance low over the runway.

I turned to an old man standing beside me.

"Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"The B2 appeared at the end of the runway as if by magic."

The old man looked at me like I was crazy.

Maybe I am crazy, I don't know.

I saw this twice from two different angles about a year appart.

a good deed?

The broken shards that once were the rib over my heart caused me great pain as I took a break from my spring cleaning. I was starting to feel sorry for myself when someone knocked on the front door. My parents were gone for a few hours shopping.

I went to the front door hoping it wouldn't be a door to door salesman.

The man that stood on the front porch was dressed in old clothes.

"The stuff at the end of your drive....could I have some of it?"

I was setting out old furniture and yard care equipment for my home town's spring trash day.

"Sure take what you want and thanks for asking."

I almost shut the door but I saw his car. I wish I could tell these true life stories without sounding crazy but I'm so very tired of lying to try to fit in with the world.

I looked at his car and remember a faded memory of a vision I had so many years ago.
An old car with paint flaking off and bald tires. A man that needed tires.

I had bought the best tires I could find for my old van before I gave it to my son Mark.

I remembered the man asking me if I wanted to pay ten dollars to have the old tires recycled.

The tires still had tread but what did I need old tires for?

I saw the flash of the old car and a man that needed tires in my head and said no.

I remembered the future. I remembered the last day in April in 2009. I remembered a man that needed tires. I gave him those tires I had keep for so many years for no rational reason.

I thought he was going to cry for a moment as he showed his almost flat bald tire on his driver side. He didn't even have the money to fix a flat. He took the tires home.

A good deed? Sometimes you can't listen to your rational mind. Sometimes its better to remember the future in the past so you can help someone in the present.

Such a magical life I have and I complain about a little pain from a broken rib. Shame on me.

my little belief system

Does it matter what I believe?

Not really but I feel a need to add to the wandering unproven thought.

I believe in God. I believe in the Goddess. I believe there is no God or Goddess. I believe the Universe is random. I believe the One Soul is all genders and no gender at all. I believe in paradox.

I believe in everything and all those wonderful gaps called nothing.

I believe gravity is the tangle of all the orbits and spins within a universe rotating in all the directions approaching infinity. Magnetism is the counter spin to this.

I believe in invisible jet planes. That for short moments in time the B-2 Bomber can turn invisible to the naked eye.

I believe in time travel in death and the living universe. I believe we are all the same soul, that you and I are all the good and bad in the universe. We have been and will be each other.

You are God or the Goddess and I am the same in my own place in time and space. We are the center of the universe. Your belief system is your truth and this is my truth.

We are one soul or are we?