Saturday, August 9, 2008

Slow Time and the Double Flip Comic Book Trick

On a cold icy morning in February 1975 I drove my Mustang to the family farm.
A teenage girl with two horses needed bedding straw and I was elected by the family to throw down the bails of straw from the barn loft to her parents.

The old barn was huge. The loft was two stories above the ground and ladder was beginning to rot. When you got to the loft you had to be careful where you stepped or you would fall through the rotting floor. I threw the first bail out as the family pulled up into the feed lot in front of the barn. The blond teen age girl got out of the pick-up trunk with her mom and dad.

"She's cute and I didn't want to come out here this morning."

I said to myself as I pitched another bail out the loft.

"What can I say to her? I'll do or say something stupid. I always do when it comes to pretty

I stopped talking to myself and kept pitching bails out the loft. I'm a idiot! What if she heard me talking to myself?

Number 15, the last square bail of straw. I'll give it a good pitch to show how strong I am.
Like the dumb teenage boy I was, I ran out onto the ice cover floor and gave the bail the best pitch I could. I slid right out the barn behind the bail of straw.

I grabbed the hoist beam sticking out of the loft but it was covered in ice and I keep on going.
I threw my legs up to lock them around the beam and at the same time tried to squeeze my two hands around the icy beam. I was too late with my legs and my hands sounded like I snapped my fingers as I flew off the end of the beam. My butt was pointing skyward and I was looking down at a three stories worth of fall as I was higher than the barn in the air.

Time slowed down coming almost to a stop. Daredevil comic book. I'll do a double flip and land on one foot just like Daredevil. Time speed back to normal. Do or die dummy, I thought to myself as I did a double flip and landed on one foot.

It was impossible but it had happen. By dumb luck or flight of angels I landed on ice from a three story drop on one foot in slick leather shoes. I had landed ten feet in front of the beautiful blond haired blue eyed girl. I stood up walked over to her with my hand out stretched towards her.

"Hi, my name is Robert."

She took my hand in a gentle handshake.

"Hi, I'm Tammy."

I took her to my prom that spring.

Today I heard a story about Tammy's parents reaction to my barn fall. My mother said she got a call later that day about how I fell out of the barn and it looked like I was going to break my neck but I somehow did the impossible and landed on one foot on the ice. I always wondered if Tammy and her parents thought I did it as a stunt but I now know my double somersault didn't look as good as it did in the comic book.


Toxiferous said...

What a great story and I adore the illustrations! I love the sharp contrast between the cold, icy blue top one and the warmth from the reddish one underneath.

Robert A Vollrath said...

Thanks Toxiferous

This is one of my favorite of my posts. The story seems impossible but it happened. I think it was the only time in my life I appeared cool to a pretty girl and all because I was a comic book nerd.