Saturday, August 23, 2008

Echoes of Dreams

Echoes of dreams stay in my mind long after I wake from my slumber. Why does my mind work best between the twilight of dreams and the harsh painful reality of my broken mind?

For years I felt sorry for myself, oh I lied and told everyone how lucky I was but I longed for the paradise I tore myself from. This morning as I write this and the dreams still echo through my mind I feel paradise is in my heart. I feel peace has found me at last. I opened my heart and it was filled with kindness.

My mind feels empty and numb to the world and yet words roll off the tips of my fingers from the keypad to the screen. I know not what I'll write next and yet I feel compelled to write.

Between dream and reality is the same as between life and death. Imagination and our perception of reality compete for our attention. The dream fades from my mind but the peace stays in my heart. I won't let it go for I own a part of paradise now.

Tonight I will be in a room with people that love me and those that hate me. Part of me doesn't want to go to this event but I feel I must. I will be careful with each word and find a way to love everyone at the party.

We each have a role to play in life and I must not judge those who don't remember the boarder lands between life and death.


Joan Sandford-Cook said...

So glad you have found peace inside. As for 'the best writing to come' its already here Robert.

Robert A Vollrath said...

I still get upset and have negative thoughts but it only last seconds or minutes instead of hours, days or years.

Writing is the hardest thing I do.
I'm rewiring my brain to try to fix three problems I have. This is too long a subject for a comment I'll just make it my next post.

Thanks Joan, your comments keep me going sometimes.

rosalie said...

i'm feeling a bit similar (what you're feeling in your heart).

love is one of the greatest and most beautiful thing one is able to feel as a human. you're right by saying "..i must not judge..", just give them something you have that they haven't for sure.

and concerning the "dreams": it only seems as if the dream fades from your mind, or maybe it does but it is still inside you (saved in your subconsciousness, which knows much more than our consciousness). and the dreams at night are something very special, you're acting like a child does. it's in our hands to stay connected , to understand and feel.

Robert A Vollrath said...

I'm trying to love those that hate me and I find this isn't as hard as I once thought. To return love when someone gives you hate is easier than giving hate back.

My dreams are a place to practice this.

rosalie said...

indeed, robert (both, the practice and the more easier).

and giving back love is nearly pure positivity for one's soul, although in times of weakness it also can steal away the little rest of your energy (at this moment).. which is sad and sometimes even shattering.

but you meanwhile know my being and essence i would say, you know what i'm talking about as well ;)