Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Muse


I was sitting behind the T-Shirt table at the Project InSECT room at the Mid-Winter's Art Fair.
I should have been happy. My favorite artist alive or dead was very much alive and painting a beautiful beetle before the public. My favorite performer was goofing with the kids and painting arm tattoos. I had made a new friend in Dave Gould. I was surrounded by prints and original paintings of some of my favorite artwork.

I wasn't happy because over the last two days I was breaking up with my girl friend in public before my artist friends. How long had I been black listed from work? Three or four years of living with my parents because I had to do the right thing. I can't regret it because at least one child was saved from death or a life long injury from my actions. How many times had they tried to arrest me on false charges, four or five times? Being a whistle blower was a fool's mission and I was starting to feel a black hole of political corruption was eating my life away.

I sat behind the T-Shirt table depressed wishing someone, anyone would get me. Why couldn't I find a woman who knew what I was all about?

Somewhere in heaven my wish must have been mis-filed as a prayer because no sooner than I finished the thought I saw her. I saw a yellow glow about her. After my car wreck I saw colors around the outlines of people. I had brain damage so I didn't really believe in my spirit vision but it had been ten years since I had seen this hallucination. My heart filled with love.

I had seen blue, green, red, orange and purple energy outlines around people in my hallucinations but never yellow. I loved her. Love at first sight?

"Stand up and smile you fool!"

My sub-conscious screamed at me from the back of my mind. I stood up and smiled as she walked towards me. How old is she? I had dated younger women after my divorce and later felt like a fool when I had to explain the 60s and 70s to them. I couldn't tell how old she was but she was beautiful and I loved her. It didn't mater if she was younger than me, I had to talk to her.

She said something to me and I mumbled back something about Project InSECT and James and Jessa.

"No you idiot! Talk about your own dreams!"

My sub-conscious demanded and so I talked about my dreams and she told me her dreams and our dreams were the same. She was the Muse I had looked for my whole life and I loved her even more and I had only known her a few minutes. There was a line waiting to buy T-Shirts and posters but I didn't care because I had found my Muse.

James, Jessa and Dave had to work the table because I couldn't take my eyes off the beautiful Muse of my dreams, no our dreams now. The rational part of my mind said she could be married or have a boyfriend. She couldn't be married because she was my Muse. I loved her wavy hair and her glasses but most of all I loved her smile. I gave her my telephone number and she promised to come back and give me her number. I never doubted for a moment she would be back because she was my Muse. She walked into the art fair and I turned to Dave and said;

"I think I'm in love!"

"I think the feeling is mutual."

She came back and gave me her number. I talk to her almost every night now about our dream.

With her I truly believe we can save the world one imagination at a time.

5 comments:

Joan Sandford-Cook said...

Simply love the way you have expressed your feelings in The Muse. What a partnership you must make. For many years I belonged to what we call the Spiritualist Movement over here, where I learned so much about our inner/higher self and one of the teachings along with meditation and visualisation is seeing the colours of people's auras and chakras and the meaning of colour. You lovely lady's yellow glow says it all. So glad you found your soul mate.

Robert A Vollrath said...

Yes, soul mate it is. I guess I've been running from my spiritual self for over thirty two years now.
My ex-girlfriend somehow knew it was time for us to breakup.
I was the talk of the Friends of Project InSECT as one woman was breaking up with me and I was falling in love with another woman.
All the while I felt it was planed for me by unseen forces.
I didn't want to put in The Muse about seeing the yellow glow around her but it seemed like a lie if I left it out.
Thanks for your wonderful comment.

Using up the words.... said...

YAHOOOOO!!!!!

I'm so super excited for you! And what a gorgeous story too. :)

Robert A Vollrath said...

In one weekend I went from the pit of depression to hope on high.

I almost talked myself out of writing the Muse because I didn't think anyone would believe the story but I'm glad I wrote it down a few days after it happened and posted it.

I guess the truth shines through even in written words.

Elena said...

It is very beautiful story and I am glad you found what you were looking for. It is not easy to find.