I was a Heart Broken Zombie

Before I start this story let me explain something. I'm indestructible. The most you can do to me is kill me and I've been dead before, many times. So when you read this don't feel sad just let the story take you to a silly place in a big man's heart.

Try not to trip over my ego.

Backache and Heartache. What a weekend. Last week my father decided to finally buy that HDTV for my mother. With the help of my friend Jeff I set them up with a new HDTV. Moving their old broken TV out of the house I dislocated and broke a rib over my heart.

Why did I move a giant piece of junk TV by myself?

More to come, work in progress.......

I moved the TV by myself so my father wouldn't try to help me and hurt himself. The TV should have been destroyed years ago but my father is not one for giving up on old technology.

Flashback 32 years ago as I water ski for the last time with my Uncle Ed. He didn't want to pull me behind the boat he just wanted to throw me off into the lake and make me pull him all the rest of the day. He opened the boat up and pulled me into a cove full of drift wood. My right ski plowed into a floating log. I went flying head first into a floating tree stump. I over shot the tree stump with my head but my chest slams into one big hard twisted root and I hear my rib break as I plow under the water.

The hard life vest saved my life. Flash forward to age 50 and I am trying to move a giant piece of junk, heavy as a baby elephant, projection TV down a few stairs and I hear that same rib break for a second time. I go one better this time and dislocate the rib too.

Four nights ago I wake up and my whole body feels numb. My head hurts like the 20 year headache I had after my car wreak. I can't feel my heart beating with my left hand and I can't feel my pulse. I brace myself for death as I think I'm having a heart attack.

Flashback to my Grandfather Vollrath's death. He had several heart attacks and the last time I was alone with him he showed his blacken legs from clotting blood. I was all of ten. Two weeks later he is at home and couldn't feel his heart beat. He stood up and called my grandmother to him. He told her he had no pulse and fell over dead.

Two weeks ago my mother tells me this story. It is fresh in my mind as I set up in bed thinking I'll die at any moment.

Pain is too much.....more to come when I feel better.

I don't die at that moment. I can't find my heart beat or my pulse no matter how hard I try.

I put my right index finger in my ear hoping to hear the roar of my bloodstream in my inner ear.

Nothing.

Maybe I have enough oxygen in my blood to stand even take a few steps like my Grandfather Vollrath.

Pain owns me now.....be back soon

I find I'm not scare of death but I don't want to die in my room because it is full of a small part of my empire of junk. I decide to get dressed and go to the living room. If I'm going to die I'll just die in my favorite chair. I turn on a light and look down at my chest as I put on a shirt.

My chest and left arm were swollen to cartoon proportions. I couldn't feel my heart beat because of my swollen chest. My left hand was swollen so I couldn't take my pulse. I don't know why I couldn't hear my blood running through my inner ear. Using my right hand I push into my swollen cheat and find my heart beat. My heart was beating incredibly slow.

I guess my body was in shock from the amount of hard work I did in a very short time. I decide to go living room and wait to see what happens.

The pains back...more soon.....

As I walk through the dark hallway to the living room I think I'm a heart broken zombie.
I'm the walking dead with a broken heart. Why did Patty dump me over the phone? What did I do to deserve that? A broken rib over a broken heart, how ironic.

I make it to my favorite chair and sit down. I think of how my Great Grandfather English died.
He died with a smile on his face sitting on his front porch swing. He died with a summer wind blowing across the porch of a house he built with his own two hands. A good way to die.

Now I sit me down to die.

No more time to tell you lies.

I'll find the truth in my death.

I only hope I'm heaven blessed.

Why is my heart beating so slow? Then I remember a trick I can do. I could always make my heart beat slower. I wonder if I could make it beat faster? I have grandchildren, I can't die yet.
My heart beats faster and I watch a new dawn.

No more time to tell you lies, the truth will always be my guide.

The End

I would like to say I'm sorry to all my readers. I lied in this post. My heart wasn't beating from the time I got out of bed till a short time after I sat down in the chair. I thought the tale was too fantastic and yet I claimed to be telling the truth in the story. Another thing that is missing in this story is the dream that woke me up. A double of myself came to me in a dream and said;
"Wake up dummy, your heat has stopped."

My cousin Monroe died in his sleep of heart failure. He was my Grand Father Vollrath's other Grandson. 4-12-2010