I meet my Muse in the public library. Her name is Cynthia and she loves books as much as I.
We started a business to save the world one imagination at a time. I showed her the drawings that would help save the world. She showed me how to draw like a child. I erased my carefully crafted sketched realities without ego or fear and she drew over the faded graphite playground.
We took turns drawing on the same playground. I have never known so much joy in drawing as this sharing of two different styles of art. It was the dance of romance of pencil and eraser on a floor of paper.
We both left the library happy. I walked with her across the Country Club Plaza, a shopping district in the city of my birth. Kansas City Missouri was the domain of the Paper King but tonight he didn't own the city. Tonight it belonged to Cynthia and I. The coolness of the evening didn't matter as my heart was warm by the company of the woman of my dreams. Could she, would she feel the same way about me?
We walked into a deli and I ordered what she ordered because I couldn't think of anything but her beautiful smile. The yellow glow danced around her in imaginary fireworks. No! That can't be real! I must stay in this reality with her and not fall into the broken mirror reality of the car wreak. If I did die in that car wreak in 1975 and somehow found my way back to this life then I must stay in this life. I found my Muse and no reality broken by heaven or hell would keep the two halves of our dreams from becoming one.
We sat in the deli and talked. I hung on her every word. I laughed when she said moving her book collection was worst than getting a divorce. I told her I was in love with her or did I?
I told her I wrote a story about falling in love with her at first sight. I told her we were perfect for each other but I never said;
"I love you Cynthia."
I am the Fool that fought the Paper King, the bully billionaire of the city of my birth but I am a greater fool in matters of the heart.
We walked back to our cars to say goodnight to each other and I gave her the smallest of hugs.
I reached around her waist with one arm and gave her a small squeeze and she reached around my waist and gave me a small squeeze back. She said she wanted to show me a beautiful view near the library and we walked a few steps with our arms around each others waist. We let go of each other to make walking easier. I should have took her hand.
I stood with her in the cool night air on the top step of a beautiful mosaic stairway under the pillars of a ten story building. In the distance was a creek with the city lights shining off the water. I looked at the mosaic and it was a series of bars intersecting circles. All the mosaics I created for this blog made sense.
Then like a damn bursting a thousand visions flooded into my mind.
Vision after vision slamming into my mind.
I looked up at Cynthia not knowing how long I had been transfixed by the mosaic.
I walked her back to her car said goodbye and began my long drive home. She had created the perfect moment for our first kiss and the broken mirror reality made me feel worthless. I just want a normal life. Why did I have to have that car wreak? As I drove into the night I thought to myself;
"I'm 49 not 14, I should have kissed her!"
10 comments:
Yes, you should have - kissed Cynthia I mean. As to the visions, dont worry about them. Quite often when someone has had a traumatic experience like your accident it opens you up to the spiritual side of life we normally hide from. Many a fledgling medium attending regular development circles would be envious of you that it has happened 'naturally'.
By the way, when are we going to see this artwork you created together. ??Must be beautiful so full of new love.
Thanks for your comment.
I must stop fighting the visions and just accept it as a part of my life.
Yes,I should have kissed Cynthia.
I'll talk to her about posting some of the art.
I'm going to use the self timer on my camera and take a photo of the two of us. Who knows, we might even be kissing.
Wow, how touching.
Thanks for your comment.
thanks for visiting my blog, but really I'm so thankful because it led me to yours!
one of my favorite forms of art is the 'exquisite corpse'. to create art with someone else just seems right with the universe.
i don't mind what was real or not real, i loved your story. thanks for writing.
Great piece of work!
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VFCD wishes to foster good relationships with organizations both within and outside of Vietnam in order to establish a greater network of organization cooperating together to provide greater assistance to those areas in which humanitarian aid is needed.
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VFCD Project Coordinator/Recruitment Officer
Address: 4th floor, Concord building, 277 Doi Can str., Hanoi.
Tel: +844 242 5931 ;+844 7199 930
Email: info@vfcd.org
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I don't know what to make of your offer but I will be in contact with you soon. I am writing a book on how to set up a low cost Science Museum that might be helpful to you.
Thank you for your proposal.
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