Nothing is Everything

If you have looked at my profile, you can see that I know a lot about nothing.
How old is nothing? Why is nothing both the largest and smallest thing? Why ask why?
The answers to these questions is Nothing is Everything!
Yes I know many of you out there believe in the silly string theory but I tell you that is just a jumble of nothing.
In the future past there was nothing but nothing wanted to be something so it divided the quantum vacuum into fast nothing and slow nothing. For those who didn't read my profile, slow nothing is nothing and fast nothing is something.
The fast nothing went everywhere at once but the slow nothing went nowhere never.
This created the universe as we know it and as we don't know it. The single strand of fast nothing tried to spin in all directions at the same time but couldn't as the two ends of fast nothing moved towards infinity and the thickness of fast nothing shrinks towards finite.
This caused a wobble in the fast nothing that let's us look at all the slow nothing which if you remember is what we think of as nothing. Gravity is just a tangled up knot of fast nothing or you can think of it as points where invented centripetal force from the universe trying to spin in all directions at the same time. The wobble between gaps in the universal spin is what we think of as magnetism. The weak force is slow nothing going nowhere and the strong force is fast nothing going everywhere.